The best book I found for this purpose was Prepare to be Tortured- the price you will pay for dating a narcissist. AB Jamieson, Amazon. It is a good general guide, without psychobabble. It covers romantic relationships but also goes into narcissism generally, and narcs as bosses, colleagues, friends, so it is a good guide to how to deal with them. Importantly, it also has a checklist of traits-red flags- so you can learn to identify them, and then you can live a narc-free life.
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About a year before my ex husband cheated on me I was thinking about how easy it would be to cheat on him. We lived in Vegas. He would have never known if I put a profile up on a dating site to hook up with tourists.
What stopped me was that I considered my ex husband to be my best friend. In the future, what will stop me was everything that was lost due to his affair. It wasn’t a fun feeling that I would want anyone to be on the receiving end of. I would rather end the relationship then to do that to someone else.
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Sorry, no the narc has found someone else and is busy lovebombing them- there is no time for withdrawals or regrets. That is how little you meant to the narc- it probably took the narc all of ten minutes to replace you, and you can be sure that if you feature at all in the narc´s conversation or thoughts, it is in a negative way- you will be an alcolholic or drug addict or crazy or some such.
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This is difficult to hear, but you need to know it, otherwise you might be tempted, because you love the narc, to break no contact or accept the narc´s lies about loving you or wanting to come back. If you ever hear that, it is a lie, and you will be dumped again as soon as the narc finds an alternative.
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The narc never loved you and never will- so forget any notion of withdrawals, recover from the narc by reading about narcissism, and lead a happy life. My advice to you is, read and become an expert on narcissism. This is surprisingly easy, because they are all the same.
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They do the same things to everyone all the time. The advantage this gives is that you only need to read one good book and you know all about them. Then you can deal with whatever they throw at you. The best book I found for this purpose was Prepare to be Tortured- the price you will pay for dating a narcissist.
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AB Jamieson, Amazon. It is a good general guide, without psychobabble. It covers romantic relationships but also goes into narcissism generally, and narcs as bosses, colleagues, friends, so it is a good guide to how to deal with them.